??????

*Beep* message tone.

My hands rush to grab the phone..im thinking it's u..im hoping its u.i want it to b u..

I close my eyes for a second before looking at the cell.i open my eyes ; its not u.

I dont even bother reading the message properly.Turn around and look back into my books.gaping at the flying words,catching a few i run them around in my mind.somehow , these wrds dnt make sense. Its like a different language. A diffrnt world al2gther in which im supposed to study.

Looking up from the books i look out of the window, observe the random bird, see people walk by, i wonder what they're talking about about.How do i care really? I dont know.

i turn around and look at my room, looking fr something to scribble on. I have to distract myself. Sadly i'm not the sort who manage to distract themselves with school books. I cant even sit still as of now

I grab the phone again, look at my inbox: mayb I didnt see the message.Maybe I didnt notice the all to familiar *Beep*. Ya right ! who am i kidding?.The beep is the only sound my ears want to here.

"Is all this really worth it?" i wonder fr the millionth time. "Would i just b happier with my nose in my books? "

would that stop this crazy dive for the phone?

this crazy time consuming longing?

For someone who hasnt messaged,called or perhaps remembered you half as much as u remember them?

But then i close my eyes and think back at the happier less crazy days... I remember the laughter,the joy,the warmth of loving sm1. Those totally not so funny statements which seemed like the best jokes back then. I remember the never ending coffe n movie expeditions . The entire aura around wanting to spend so much time wid sm1.

I open my eyes

*Beep*

message tone again. i slowly pick up the phone.

It's him

yes,i think its all worth it

:-)