18

hmm...does it feel any diffrnt??

no not really

i stil get up in the mornings laze around n read the paper...nope...nthing new...do i feel older?..nt realy :p

yeah i know i can finally drive n all bt my darling mother anyway wont let me til my boards finish...so thats dat. :-/

supposed to hav a conti soon...bt by the looks of things the 11thies havnt really bothered :-/ so yeah...most of the things u wait fr to do once ur 18 or in class 12 arnt really happening fr me ryt now

sad

life is sad

n those endless hours of reading school books n making notes realy is making me dull in the head...seriously....n dangerously :-/

ah wel

life

Psycho prac finally

Ok 2mrw is basically a day which is bound to get messed up...
have my Psycho prac.....

the thot is scaring me....im like praying fr a miracle...
anyhow...thankfully once im done wid those 3 hours m off to buy stuf fr my birthday n then going fr a movie in the evening :)

now DAT IS SMTHING I CAN LIVE FOR :P

now the thing wid the psycho prac...isnt psychology supposed to b a very interesting subject??...afterall thats wat figures us all out ryt??
then how does our syllabus manage to totally screw us up in the process of n attempt at education?
i for one took psychology thinking ill figure myself out n become this totally new person...all im doing ryt now is learning pages n pages of theory :-/
n the only thing iv come to know bout myself is that I CANT LEARN SO MUCH !!

m totally muddled up wid wtever iv read all day...written things on my hand n i keep looking at it n try to remember stuf :-(

so basically this wil take frevr...n wil not go to well either :-/
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god save me

School's out :-/

The sad truth's kinnda finally settling in...though a part of me is thrilled....

i really disliked sm aspects of my school....

bt for now i guess remembering only the good parts is important... :-)

iv met so many people in the past 13yrs n made so many frnds...

who im sure il remember n cherish all the tym....and

i noe people say that once school's over u loose touch wid ur frnds...bt now...wats FACEBOOK for afterall? :-)

so many days...so many weeks ...so many years worth of memories cant obsly be remembered instantly or perhaps all be recounted in one blog....

bt they will all stick to be a part of me n remind me of who i am and wat has made me wat i am :-)

thr r sm frnds i have to mention...otherwise...this post just wont b worth it :)

TANVI - Her being my frnd truelly made my life a happier place :-) we met on the 1st day of school in nursery n have stuck togthr since..as best frnds...always :-)

ARCHIT - Now wat can i say about this guy?? he has come to become one of my best frnds....stood by me always and made my life in school so much more fun :-)

SURBHI - She came into my life unexpectdly in 11th...and become one of by closest frnds instantly..she was wid me in one of the hardest tyms of my life n i cant thank her enuf for it :-)

ABIR - This guy iv only come to know well in the past year...he really made pol science n history classes worth living thru :-) thanx a ton man...wud hav slept thru them all if u hadnt been thr passing ur comments on everything n arguing ur life out wid me n Ananya :-)

VIDHVAT - Official clown of my life.... :-p ur stupid perverted jokes wil remain classics frver man :-)

NAYANTARA - Fr helping me pass in all my tests :-) heheh..lol

thr r so many other people i want to mention...bt then that way...this post wud neva end :-p

thank u so much u guys...for making my school life the best possible :-)

<3>

Neha

Here it is <3

ok Mister, since u asked how come i didnt mention you in my last post....here's one just for you :-)

hmmm...How do i start this one??? I guess with a

I Love you :-)

But u already know that, said it enough :p
I rather not write anything that'l make Tithi darling all buzzy :p ( kill me later for that one my rabied love tithi..hahah )
Ok back to you, what should i say? You like totally changed my life....yeah yeah i noe that sounds cheesy n all...but its true love :-)

From the ribbon ring that u gave me last year( i still have it btw ) ,from the orchids, the long walks and the many movies to ET and Bundle greeting u as if u were their life.

I dont noe about them, but you sure are mine :-)

We may fight our asses of sometimes, but its fun isnt it? ;p
being able to fight with some1 knowing that we'l frget all about it by the next day? :)

I agree i feel like bashing u uo sometyms , But ur stil my dopey.
The guy who agrees to play silly 9-yr old games with my sister, and is willing to help me decorate the house for my mum's birthday, and handle tithi's wackyness....mine to actually ;-p

The guy who can be a total jerk one second but a complete sweetheart in the next :)

Love You Dopey
For everything...

Yawny :-)

18 in a week :-)

WOW

Can u see how great that sounds to me? :-)

The 1st biggest milestone of my life..18..all grown up...how i went frm being a 1 yr old frever sleeping brat to a 18 yr old girl whos about to pass out frm school..dnt ask me..

i dont noe myself...i remember being 5 and running around wid a red bucket in my head announcing to every body that im turning 6 in a week...il do the same this tym...minus the bucket :)

remember the joy of gtng a lil lab for my 6th birthday n telling tithi n my brother that the dog is my very own baby.....

remember riding a cycle for the 1st tym n crying my eyes out wen i fell

i remember looking at my baby sister for the 1 st tym wen i was 9...i stil remember the smile she gave me...it touched my heart...no matter how much we beat up each other now :-)

i remember dancing in the rain....every droplet making me even happier than before...

i remember not crying when my grand father died when i was 13...i thot that was the ryt thing to do...i remember the agony of seeing my dog dieing last year...i cudnt stop myself then...i cried...

cried my eyes out...cried my heart out..

n thn suddenly didnt hav any tears left.

n i remember gtng a lil puppy a few months back...looking at him...i realised ...things werent so bad...i had in a way got my old dog bak:-)

All in all....

im turning 18 :-)

moving on wid many things.....entering a new life all 2gther....

and wat i noe for sure is that no matter wt i come across in the future...il live thru it

n perhaps be this happy a week before turning 50 or smthing aswell :-)

??????

*Beep* message tone.

My hands rush to grab the phone..im thinking it's u..im hoping its u.i want it to b u..

I close my eyes for a second before looking at the cell.i open my eyes ; its not u.

I dont even bother reading the message properly.Turn around and look back into my books.gaping at the flying words,catching a few i run them around in my mind.somehow , these wrds dnt make sense. Its like a different language. A diffrnt world al2gther in which im supposed to study.

Looking up from the books i look out of the window, observe the random bird, see people walk by, i wonder what they're talking about about.How do i care really? I dont know.

i turn around and look at my room, looking fr something to scribble on. I have to distract myself. Sadly i'm not the sort who manage to distract themselves with school books. I cant even sit still as of now

I grab the phone again, look at my inbox: mayb I didnt see the message.Maybe I didnt notice the all to familiar *Beep*. Ya right ! who am i kidding?.The beep is the only sound my ears want to here.

"Is all this really worth it?" i wonder fr the millionth time. "Would i just b happier with my nose in my books? "

would that stop this crazy dive for the phone?

this crazy time consuming longing?

For someone who hasnt messaged,called or perhaps remembered you half as much as u remember them?

But then i close my eyes and think back at the happier less crazy days... I remember the laughter,the joy,the warmth of loving sm1. Those totally not so funny statements which seemed like the best jokes back then. I remember the never ending coffe n movie expeditions . The entire aura around wanting to spend so much time wid sm1.

I open my eyes

*Beep*

message tone again. i slowly pick up the phone.

It's him

yes,i think its all worth it

:-)